Let me start with some simple questions. Why do you love your parents so much?. What you get from a friendship? And Why you consider someone is your favorite person? Ask these questions to yourself. You will find some interesting answers.
- They love you.
- You share similar mindsets
- They help you in your difficult times
- You have a connection with them
- They teach you, guide you. Etc. Etc.
- But most importantly, they are adding value to your life!!
Aristotle said, “Man is a social animal.” Human beings or say Homo sapiens originally lived as hunter-gatherers. Hunt and gather food and move to the next place. The invention of agriculture made sapiens to stay back and stick to one place. That’s how society is formed. What we are today because of the choice they made- to live together, helping each other. Recently, When I’m browsing through the internet, I came across a beautiful piece of information, it goes like this.
“Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones.
But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom if you break your leg, you die. You can not run from danger, get to the river for a drink, or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.
‘A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts’, Mead said.
We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.” (- Ira Byock, The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life)
The reason we human beings survived as species for thousands of years, not because of the survival of the fittest, strengths, biggest, fastest, or most intelligent. We survived because we came together, joined hands, cared for each other, helped each other by adding value to each other life, and formed society.
Each human being needs another human being in his life; from birth to death, a person gets in connection with many other human beings who adds value to his life, ultimately shape him the person he destined to be.
Charles Dickens said, “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of others.”
Each human being evolved to help others, serve others, and find happiness in it. Act of human kindness and human caring is an essential behavioral quality every human being should possess. When we say the act of kindness or human caring, we also should understand that helping, caring, or adding value to others without any judgment or ‘no strings attached’ is very critical.
How to Add value to people and their life:
- Understand those who are around you.
To add value to someone’s life, We need to understand that person first. By asking some right questions we can understand what kind of person he is, What are the goals he’s trying to accomplish (If not, you can add value by setting some goals for him), What is the purpose of his life, and what are the challenges he is facing.
When we ask questions, it should be intentional, honest, and it should be out of genuine care for him so that he can open up to you. Once you understand a person, it’s easy to help him.
Asking the questions is not necessarily the formal way of inquiry, but a conversation between two individuals opening up to each other. Authentic listening and showing compassion during the conversation will help you to bond with the person who sits opposite you. One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another person has to say.
- Communicate, connect and create a rapport
Effective communication and staying connected will help you to build a good rapport with the people around you. When you have a strong connection with one person, he will spend more time with you, and he will feel comfortable around you.
By connecting, you can relate to each other with various things like your hobbies, books you read, favorite sport, movies or views, and mindsets Etc. By creating good rapport, it is easy to help the person and influence him in the right direction. Be it your personal life or professional life, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. The more you connect with people around you, the more they get comfortable with you. People will listen to you when you have a good rapport with them.
- Start adding value to those who are around you
Believe, the more you give- the more you get. And remember the happiest people are those who serve the others. You can attain happiness or greatness by helping others or adding value to someone’s life. Putting others first mindset is scarce these days. But most needed.
Mahatma Gandhi said,” The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Usually, people overthink when it comes to helping others, sometimes it may be because of the past experiences, people around you, or the belief systems of yours, which prevents you from helping the people around you.
We ask ourselves, “why should I help him?” “How I know this person really needs it?” “Doest adding value to his life pay me in return?” “I can’t help everyone around me,” or “I don’t have anything with me, I wish somebody help me.” If you see, these thoughts revolve around the notion of ‘me.’ When your thoughts, mindset, or belief system thinks about putting the other people first, you will become the person who gives or the person who serves. To do that, you need to change your attitudes towards people, life, and work and develop the values and beliefs of helping people around you.
May it be your personal life or professional life. Serving others will make you a great person, people will recognize you, respect you and they will be influenced by you, ultimately success will follow you.
Here is how you can help them by adding value to someone else life,
Empathy:
Showing empathy is nothing but human care in action by adding value to others life. Putting ourself into others shoe and imagine oneself in the situation or circumstances of another person, to understand that person so that it propels you to connect with him and help him in his need.
Mentoring and Coaching:
On personal or professional life, the role of a good mentor and coach is a significant one. An excellent mentor and coach add value to the mentee. If you are the right person with the right competencies, you can help individuals by developing them in various areas.
Motivation:
Everybody needs a dosage of motivation every day. Everybody doesn’t know how to motivate themselves. So be the person who drives the people to achieve success.
Support:
Nobody born perfect; everybody needs help from someone. You are here, doing good because someone else supporting you. Find someone who really needs support and help him by adding value to his / her life.
Direction:
Most of the people are living life as they experience it, making mistakes, and living in a whirlwind. If you are there for someone in his life to direct him by adding value or guide him to the proper path, it is your most significant contribution to that person’s life.
Solving Problem:
Every human being on this planet got his own problems. Sometimes it cannot be handled by one person. Everybody needs a person to listen and a shoulder to share his/ her burden. Helping a person to solve his/her problem is one of the most useful ways of adding value to his/ her life. You never know your action; helping hand might have saved his/her life!!.
Share some happiness:
It’s all about adding value to others’ life either sharing some happiness or the little joy. The more you share happiness with others, the more you get happiness to yourself. Happiness is what every human being is striving for and often get disappointed. Lack of happiness brings sadness, depression, and a sense of hopelessness. If you make somebody happy and keep people around you joyful, it’s you helping them to feel great.
Charity or Be a Volunteer:
The many charitable organizations, trusts, NGOs are doing some amazing work around you today. Fighting for various causes and helping the needy. You can always consider giving a part of your earning to these causes, or you can volunteer and help them in achieving something contributing the society.
Love:
Expressing love is a natural way of helping people. Find ways to express your love to the people around you. Show compassion, kindness, listen to them, be friendly, and always be a pleasing positive personality.
These are the few general ways you can add value to the people around you. But there are many ways- you can uplift someone, appreciate someone, set purpose, show kindness or compassion, etc. Be it materialistic or emotional support you give, your small gesture can lit up a smile in someone’s face. So never hesitate yourself in spreading happiness, or serving others, and make people feeling great. As I mentioned earlier, the more you give- the more you get. You will get more happiness, a great sense of fulfillment, and in the end, self-actualization.
In these difficult times, we are facing so many challenges, uncertainty, and global issues. The only way to overcome these issues is by helping each other and through collective efforts. Serve the people around you, your community, every day, do good for someone else. Help a fellow human being every day. Wake up every day asking yourself, ‘how can I add value to someone’s life today.’ It will bring peace, happiness for yourself and everyone around you. Nowadays people living with limited interactions, we don’t know our neighbors, we don’t smile at the people who come in front of us. We need more compassion and positive human interactions at a transformational level rather than mere transactions.
